I never feared death – Marilyn Rea Beyer

I never feared death

Until you died.

 

Now – again – I fear facing you

With your dark curls and your Sinatra sneer.

 

Like on my 28th birthday when you warned to me watch my weight,

“Or I’ll trade you in for two 14s.”

 

And then you actually did.

More than two, really.

 

You mocked my other lovers as “nice boys,”

Then taught me toxic lessons.

 

Yes, you made my blood rush,

Grabbed me by the waist and hissed, “Follow me.”

 

Who’s your jitterbug partner now?

Do you make the tender angels cry?

Do you do to them what you did to Bernadette?

 

I wish sometimes I did believe in Hell

So I could just let you go.

 

That frail gray man who died last year did not resemble you.

 

People said how much you’d changed. Really?

Enough to apologize?

Enough to quench my fear of Heaven?

 

Marilyn Rea Beyer has been reading poetry in public since the 1960s but only began writing her own in the 2000s. She holds a Master’s in Oral Interpretation of Literature from Northwestern University and has had a varied career in teaching, high tech, folk radio and recently retired as PR Director at Perkins School for the Blind. A native Chicagoan and long-time resident of Lexington, Mass., she now lives on Massachusetts’ North Shore in Salem with her husband, history author and filmmaker Rick Beyer. Website: http://www.marilynreabeyer.com

Published by

Aurora Phoenix

I write as Aurora Phoenix. Nine months ago my world shattered. Unexpectedly and dramatically arrested, I have been incarcerated ever since, as I await the unbearably slow machinations of the system. Devoid of verbal communication that is unmonitored, pen and paper have served as my truest outlet for grief, fear and angst. Armed with toilet paper for intermittently copious tears, my motions experience and reflections are PaperMate poured. In this chapter of my life, I write.

7 thoughts on “I never feared death – Marilyn Rea Beyer

  1. Sometimes, we’re, just too stubborn, with our minds, completely set up that we’d, found love, when it wasn’t, really actually love, that it was, something, totally opposite of love, and we get stuck, in this cycle of abuse, until one day, we finally WAKE ourselves up!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s