My Apologies for Falling Behind- Christine E. Ray

As many of you know, I live with fibromyalgia and frequent migraine headaches.  Some days my symptoms are white noise that I can push into the background and other days, I am completely knocked on my rear end and struggle to carve out even an hour of cognitive functioning.  One of my ways of dealing with this fluctuating functioning is to use my good days to pre-schedule my writing prompts and my older writing so something goes up on Brave and Reckless most days.

This past week has been a REALLY bad fibro and migraine week for me and as a consequence, I have fallen far behind on my other blogging tasks, especially scheduling your responses to the Smitten writing prompts.  My deepest apologies to everyone who has been looking forward to seeing their posts published on Brave and Reckless.  I will get to them- I promise!- just not on the timeline that I was hoping for.  I truly appreciate your patience and flexibility.

Helpful Hints:

  • It is ALWAYS better to send your responses to me by email rather than by dropping a link in a post.  Your writing is less likely to get overlooked and it helps me more easily track what I have already posted and what I still need to post.
    Please use her.red.pen.wordsmithing@gmail.com for writing prompt submissions
  • It takes me much less time to set up your writing if you include a suggested image.  Unsplash and Pixabay are my two favorite sources of royalty-free images.
  • Very occasionally, Gmail does gobble up new correspondence.  Don’t hesitate to resend you writing to me if I have not gotten your response piece posted within 48 hours of the prompt publishing.

Untied-1Wise-Woman

There is a darkness tied up inside

Breaching the boundaries

Captivity amplified

It’s difficult to breath

Contaminating me

Skin and bones

With no one home

But for all

That should not be spoken

Teetering on the edge

Elaborate steps to prevent malice

From being woken

These are the secrets I keep

Lest a stir, a face, a sound, a place

Startles the unavowed

So I tip toe around myself

And everyone else

Perpetually panicked

Cutting and drinking and starving

To leak it out, drown it out, kill it out

Time and connection has shown me

It’s better to be quiet and lonely

Why is the silence so loud?

Stuck between solitude and kindness

And repressed

Brutal remembrance

If only

I hadn’t grown in a box made of wood and danger

Built by strangers

They were so good at pretending to care

Hold me in your thoughts and prayers

Or please just hold me

So I don’t fall apart

Like a work of abstract art

None of it fits quite right

With eyes that see what they should not

Ears only hear what they want

Hands hide truth behind your back

Hearts afraid to unpack

I’m bulging at the seams

Forsaking my dreams

Made of strings

Insidiously unraveling

Dangling

By a

Thread

Scissors whisper freedom

If I could just reach them

But I am

Shackled and shrouded

Awaiting

Life

Unclouded

And a safe space to hide

Biding time

Until I become

Untied

(Image from Tumblr)


1Wise-Woman: “I am living, fighting, and thriving with mental illness and chronic disease and a need to express myself. Writing eases some of the weight I carry.” When she isn’t yanking shadowy strands of leathery clumps of unconscious, and tenderly placing them into word documents, she is creating at A Lion Sleeps in the Heart of the Brave.