DON’T BLAME ME, I VOTED FOR VERMIN SUPREME

13227229_10207641307605459_7422444449415585382_n
[Poem and photo by Leah Mueller]

[ Contact Leah Here]

I voted for a pint of my poems

on my door slightly before dusk,

and found them to be

extra kind to each other today.

I voted for a huge wave

of your profile picture,

with whom I was excited to

see my awkward pre-teen, years later.

I voted for $1,000 per month

helping me in an interesting niche market.

I voted for me with an hour.

This made me be exact.

I voted for a protest vote.

In fact, the skull looks nice.

I voted for a lot of lunacy.

I voted for Mother’s Day.

I voted for Hillary Clinton

in a cool video and wild music.

I voted for a product that my sister

built of automatic weapons,

on top of everything else.

I voted for a fine-toothed comb.

I voted for a hard rain.

I voted for legal marijuana, though.

I voted for me, but less bad,

for someone that

blatantly broke the law.

I voted for a couple more than an hour

layover/plane change in Salt Lake City.

I voted for her mouth,

and literally committed Treason

by students in such situations.

I voted for a sign

telling people not to say anything.

There is already chosen.

America is not quite normal.

And if you’re a Mean One,

in battle with firecrackers

until dawn.

Hunger by Leah Mueller

10258273_10203220310126683_9191055846372154142_n

[Poem by Leah Mueller, photo by Georgia Park]

My boyfriend tells me
that feeding seagulls is like
pruning fungus. He stamps his
angry feet at them, as they converge
around our park bench, demanding food.

Nearby, a young man and woman
throw chunks of bread on the sidewalk

and laugh with delight. The gulls
roar over to them like spastic locomotives,
shrieking as they apply their brakes.

“Hey, calm down, buddy,”
the man tells my boyfriend,
“Those birds aren’t doing
anything to you.” His girlfriend

recoils on one end of the bench
and clutches the metal rungs tightly,
her face a mask of terror.
She is taking no chances
in the presence of a gull-hater.

In a nearby shop window,
REI is selling cushioned dog beds
for fifty dollars. A homeless
Native American man
wrapped in a filthy blanket

stands in front of the glass,
squints longingly at the pillows.
People rush by, preoccupied
with the details of sustenance.

My boyfriend and I turn
our backs on him,
wander home in the drizzle.

The homeless man lowers himself
slowly onto the bench,
but the gulls ignore him.

They’re smart enough to know
where their bread is coming from.

I don’t know why folks
feed seagulls, since the birds
are so goddamned demanding:
they strut about fretfully,

screaming as though the world was
filled with lazy waiters
who refuse to do their jobs properly.

Perhaps they’re right. The world
overflows with predators and prey,
and noise is the fool’s only method
of gaining attention.

I prefer to wait patiently for my bread
to come to me. Each day I awaken,
I tumble more stiffly
from my edge of the bed, glad because

I’m a little bit older
than I was yesterday, but
I’m also a lot less hungry.

[Leah Mueller is an independent writer from Tacoma, Washington. She is the author of one chapbook, “Queen of Dorksville”, and two full-length books, “Allergic to Everything” and “The Underside of the Snake.”]